CNBC’s Dennis Kneale Jokes About Steve Jobs’ Hormonal Issues Jan 5, 20096:50 CST

The big news in the tech world today was all the buzz surrounding Steve Jobs‘ health on the eve of Macworld 2009. After speculation in the blogosphere that Jobs may be on his death bed, he put out a statement confirming that he simply had a hormonal imbalance.

This was worthy of a segment today on CNBC’s Power Lunch, so to keep things light, CNBC reporter Dennis Kneale started off with a little locker room humor….

After his joke clearly crashed and burned, Kneale apologized. But the damage is done so now you get to watch. Dennis, if you’re reading this, we suggest the next time you make an inappropriate zinger do it on the Fox Business Network. That way nobody will hear it.

Grow Your Own Super Mario Bros. Fire Flower Jan 5, 200912:13 CST

…well, dress up your plant like one anyway. Here’s how you can enhance your living quarters with plant life while pimping out your crib to show your geek cred. Turn your house into a level of Super Mario Bros with either a fake chomper plant in a real pot, or an actual 8-bit potter for your “fire flower”. Of course if you actually grow a plant that makes you shoot fireballs and kill walking mushrooms, just cut back a little on the experimentation and stick to the games.

via ffffound

via bladediary

Being that we couldn’t find any places to buy the potter, we at VideoSurf came up with some free materials and a protocol for at least making your own chomper plant like the one above.
1. Download the free image below. Print 2 copies.
2. Cut out the chompers. Trace a piece of cardboard from one of the cutouts into the chomper shape and cut a cardboard outline also.
3. Glue all 3 together to a straw and stick it in your flower pot (or a green pipe).

With these decorations you will need to keep continuity for the rest of your living room, so here is some inspiration. Maybe you’d like to decorate with some brick blocks for your loose coins, or a glowing star that plays smooth jazz. Make Mario your muse for the next 5 minutes:

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li Trailer and Official Poster Jan 5, 200911:02 CST

There’s nothing like a great video game to sire a bad movie, and nothing like a bad movie to make you wonder what motivates some actors to put their careers on the line for it. The trailer for Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li hit the internets in Japanese just a few days ago, and the poster was released today. While the movie poster could be mistaken for a fan-made photoshop, the trailer shows us a few interesting insights: M. Bison dropped the S&M suit and has a facial hair. Michael Clarke Duncan plays Balrog, who is shown with a bazooka instead of boxing gloves (Antonio Tarver was too busy after Rocky Balboa?); and Chris Klein (Oz from American Pie) plays Nash.

I’m not saying The Legend of Chun Li will be bad, but I’ll trust my pre-judging stereotypes even if they cause me to miss a masterpiece.

Now You Can Play Terminator Salvation Before You Watch It Jan 5, 200910:50 CST

Pictures of a few action figures from the upcoming Terminator Salvation movie recently hit the internets over the past few days. If you’re a stickler about movie spoilers, you may want to avoid reading any further or hearing about them until you see the movie.

If you take note of the action figures, Michael Wright is in indeed a cyborg. Wright is Sam Worthington’s character who says “2018…Judgement Day happened” in the trailer below. Of course, that’s not much of a spoiler. It’s just unfiltered information. By the time you get to a 3rd sequel, Wright could be a converted happy robot or something.

As you can see from the toys uncanny lifelike accuracy, the manufacturers were glad to cut Christian Bale and Worthington from their leftover generic male GI Joe mold:

The Best Viral Videos of 2008 Dec 31, 20081:53 CST

by Peter Adams

2008 was a year where more people than ever before discovered the breadth of video entertainment that the internet has to offer. This list pays homage to the 10 greatest videos of them all, starting with Bill O’Reilly’s now infamous temper tantrum.

10. Bill O’Reilly Flips Out
This year we learned that Bill O’Reilly wasn’t always a big star, but he was a bit of a diva. Once upon a time when he worked for Inside Edition, O’Reilly found the end of his patience. And once upon a time earlier this year, some back-office intern found this moment and shared it with us. See his flawless transition from irate blowhard to cheerful anchorman and see how he earns his $10M a year from Fox:

(NSFW Language)

Australia’s most arrogant partyboy, after the break:

Charles Barkely is Still Not a Role Model Dec 31, 200810:22 CST

Charles Barkley was arrested for DUI after being pulled over for running a stop sign last night in Arizona. After refusing a field sobriety test he took a blood test, whose results won’t be available for another week.

We’re not sure who he called in his Fav 5. I’m guessing it wasn’t Dwayne Wade. Hopefully no members of Nirvana either:

In other celebrity news, Matt Dillon also got arrested for doing 106 on a rural Vermont Highway. With that kind of news, maybe he’s the Dillon who should play Johnny Drama.

Today’s Newsmakers: Mike Shanahan is Fired, and Roland Burris Gets Tapped Dec 30, 20089:41 CST

Two big stories have been buzzing the blogosphere for the past 10 hours.

Mike Shanahan, the NFL’s second longest tenured coach, just got canned after an epic collapse to end the Broncos’ season. Losing 4 of the Broncos last 6 games was not only big enough to remove a coach who won them Superbowls (albeit 10+ years ago), but it was the first time in NFL history a team had gone from leading its division to finishing out of the playoffs.

Politics had been nearly out of the news completely, but thankfully the state of Illinois has a crazy governor who loves being defiant. Rod Blagojevich just announced his nominee for Barack Obama’s senate seat: some dude named Roland Burris. I almost feel sorry for the guy because he just became a famous pawn in a futile move.

One guy gets fired. One guy gets a job (well, not really yet). Both will likely be dusting off their resumes this January.

Three Versions of Beyonce’s Single Ladies Dance You Didn’t Need to See Dec 29, 200812:36 CST

If you’ve been anywhere near a radio in the past few months, then you’ve undoubtedly heard Beyonce’s Single Ladies more than a few times. Unfortunately so has Cubby, and he’s just as hot as Beyonce after you adjust for the extra hundred pounds, complexion, and reproductive plumbing. His moves put Timberlake and Andy Samberg to shame in that SNL skit:

I’m not up on this scene, but judging by youtube I’m thinking Beyonce is making a name for herself as the new Liza Minnelli for the gay crowd. There’s nothing like girl swagger to get the sugar flowing. And this guy exudes so much sugar he cleans it from his pores:

While not everyone has the 250 pound build for a leotard, it still pays to dress for the occasion and learn the moves to a tee. Shane Mercado took Single Ladies’ youtubing to another level while inspiring a generation of dancers. So here is one of Beyonce’s biggest fans’ biggest fans:

Of course, Beyonce does not own the market for horrible dancing. Kelis has inspired many gay, straight, or plain gross renditions for our entertainment. Kelis, if you’re reading this please, consider retaining this guy as a backup dancer. He auditions well.

10 of the Greatest Heels from the Golden Age of Wrestling Dec 23, 200811:37 CST

A bunch of movies open on Christmas Day this year. There’s one with Brad Pitt aging backwards, Samuel L. Jackson in a green screen graphic novel, and Tom Cruise tries to blow up Hitler with the success of Wile E. Coyote. What’s nearly lost in the crowd is the Oscar contender that came out in limited release last weekend: The Wrestler. Mickey Rourke debuts one of his oiliest roles yet, and to rave reviews. Of course, this is a perfect excuse to bring up 10 of my favorite heels from wrestling’s Golden Age, especially the 80s.

#10 Jake the Snake Roberts

Jake was truly one of the most ingenious heels in wrestling. He was a master of kayfabe to the extent that he even used his pets to take advantage of other wrestlers’ actual fear of snakes. He was rarely without his Burmese python, Damien, and in one infamous match he even allowed a cobra to bite Macho Man Randy Savage, to the stunned horror of the crowd. It was probably the only instance Savage’s life where the Slim Jim bit him.

No less than 5 racial stereotypes after the jump…

The Top 9 Shirtless Heads of State Dec 23, 20082:31 CST

Given the reaction to the shirtless Barack Obama that hit the internets in the past 24 hours, you’d think that people had never seen a half-naked president before. Well we have. And I’ve got the evidence from around the world. It proves that although we trust photographers to catch beautiful people, some presidents are more fit to serve than they are to model.

Yulia Tymoshenko of the Ukraine is fit to model but unfortunately she does not (yet) have any swimsuit material we could contribute. If you find some pics, tell us!

#9 Vladimir Putin

The Russian PM took a well-publicized Siberian vacation last year to show off his manliness and general badassery while fishing. He’s no Teddy Roosevelt but we’ll give him credit for enjoying nature.

See one of the hairiest European leaders after the jump…